Ping...

I'm one of them guys, ya know the kind of guy that let's people know he has problems. It's not uncommon don't worry, but from my long hard experience let me tell you, it's a downfall. Especially when it comes to a woman or a relationship. Looking back on the things I have said and done over the last 12 months I can only now say to myself, "What a fucking nob". We're all on a journey and it normally routes the same road. Have fun, fall in love, fall out, chase, fix, feel stupid... I'm in the feel stupid stage. Guess what? No point in feeling stupid because if some how I was taken back in time, I would do it exactly the same fucking way. I guess what I am trying to say is, you can't change the past but you can make your future. You're reading this thinking, that old chesnut. It's true though. I wouldn't do it the same way now, but if taken back I would because I wouldn't have experienced it to do it differently.
I'm glad I experienced what I have. It has made me a more understanding person to other people's misery. If you don't experience a terrible thing then don't be one of them people that looks at a person who is going through misery, judging them. Ya know what I mean, saying things like, "Get a grip" or "Plenty more fish in the sea", plus plenty more quotes that seriously got on my last nerve. Don't get me wrong here, words like, "you will feel better just give it time" are sometimes nice to hear but are at the same time fucking repeatedly annoying! These people are just being nice but at the same time, truth have it they are pretty sick of your misery and moaning.
 I've been a fucker, I have ignored homeless people, challenged drug addicts, alcoholics etc etc..  Now I see a homeless person or a drug addict and the first thing I ask myself is, "what happened to them?" Because I am pretty sure they didn't want that life for themselves!
The downfall in expressing your true feelings when you're down is unappealing to anyone. It's desperate. Nobody likes desperate. It's unattractive. Nobody else can help you, only you can help yourself.
It's ok me writing this now but, I wanted to write it to read it myself in time to come. That is if I have to go through the same shit again. Looking from the inside out, it's difficult. The wheels seem to have come off, you can't see a future. Looking from the outside in, with a clear mind without the bull shit worry, all I advise  to you people is to say to yourself, "FUCK IT". I did this and become a happy man, even before I got what I wanted back. I was happy because I said, "FUCK IT"... What happened when I said, "FUCK IT"?

Exactly.